Lucky Charms and She-Elves

As I gorge myself with stale Lucky Charms, I find that I cannot stop geeking over the second Hobbit film. So, warning, this post may contain *~spoilers~*.

1. First of all, I would like to rave about the film character Tauriel. Tauriel is a woodlands elf that was created specifically for the movie. Her fighting techniques and bow accuracy rivals Legolas' skills, and the film even suggests that she is his love interest. Her beauty and bravery also wins the heart of the young dwarf Kili, although the rapport and dynamic of their relationship is quite awkward. Kili even drops a sly sexual innuendo, which I found more uncomfortable than anything. Strange relationships aside, Tauriel is a bad ass woman character that is empowering and refreshing. Totally not mad that she was written into the story.

2. The Mirkwood spiders--holy shit. AKA: Giant, vicious arachnids that talk in voices that sounded similar to the narrator from "Scariest Places On Earth". That's right, the spiders talked. And the scene essentially portrayed what I feel like anytime I see a spider.

3. Smaug is incredible and brilliant. The fire-breathing dragon did have more dialogue than I originally thought, but Benedict Cumberbatch was nothing short of perfect. The special effects in general were magnificent, although I've read some social media complaints that some scenes were a bit unnecessary. I completely disagree, except for I personally think that the Orcs are exhausting themselves. Of course we know that the Orcs are another aspect of the Hobbit films that are not in the book, and they do make things more "exciting". However, give the dwarves a break, man. The Orcs are getting a bit old, and are losing their sense of danger. Instead of "Oh no! The Orcs are back!", it's "Of course the $!@&*^ Orcs are back."

4. I also find it humorous that as awesome as Gandalf the Grey is, he always leaves the dwarves and Bilbo when they need him most. We can sense that something intense and terrible is about to happen, and then Gandalf decides to leave the company to fend for themselves. "Gandalf? Where are you going? Are you leaving?", they ask everytime. YES, YES HE IS. The film then turns into a montage of the company battling evil creatures and running for their lives alternated with Gandalf riding through a field or tip-toeing through an empty cave, shushing no one.

But really my only major complaint is that we now have to wait another year for the end of the trilogy. The film ended with such a cliff hanger, that I have no idea how I can wait.

So I think I'll get a Mighty Kids HappyMeal (they have cute toys right now),
Jordan